In a
surprising turn of events, Burger King have announced that it will be scrapping its entire menu leaving just one item on it: ‘The Bacon Double Cheeseburger XL’.
The company have decided to take a bold new approach to the fast food industry
by giving customers absolutely no choice except to have the burger or to “lump
it”. Fries and coke are still on the menu and the choice to have them will
still be yours to make, but rumours are spreading that workers are reluctant to
serve them, with one anonymous worker saying, “This is burger King, not Fries and
Coke King, why should I have to serve them?”
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| Maggie De Block gives Schwartz a bug thumbs up |
Speaking to
Burger King’s CEO, Daniel Schwartz, he said the decision was made to help better “streamline
customer interactions” but later adding “the real reason is because who cares
about anything else on the menu? If you’re not getting a Bacon Double
Cheeseburger XL then why are you in my restaurant? Everything else on the menu
is a poor imitation of another fast food chain. All we can offer is a burger
that is realistically too big for women, children and even skinny men to
finish. If they don’t like it they can lump it”
Not all
women however are disappointed by the fact they will only be able to get a burger they
can’t finish though. One excited customer, none other than Belgium’s health
minister Maggie De Block, is thrilled at the change of menu. “Finally, a restaurant
that doesn’t pretend to care about your health but just gives the customer what
they want. I’m going to celebrate this fantastic news by going to my nearest
Burger King and ordering four!” she said in a statement.
